Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Just Tired ...

... Too tired to brush my hair most mornings. Too tired to shower most evenings. I do manage to do it most days, I just am so tired that I have to push my self. My legs feel like they can't carry my body anymore. I am constantly short of breath! I don't know if this is because I continue to get fatter, or if I might actually be suffering from fatigue; I think it's both. That must be it.
I work 40+ hours a week. I have at least four loads of laundry piled in our third bedroom that I can't get to in the evenings — nor that I get help with. And at least three other piles waiting to be washed. There's a pile of dirty dishes that makes me want to throw a fit in the kitchen floor but guess what? I'm too tired for fits. I have enough energy to cook 3-4 days out of 7, but not enough energy to clean it up. If one would judge from the toys strung from room to room one would think that every room in the house was Ellie's.
I came home for lunch today and managed to wash one of those loads of clothes, but also managed to slip on a puddle of wax that was spilled in the floor but never properly cleaned up (thanks Babe. I know you tried). While there I also found what looks like tiny, dark brown finger smears in the hallway floor. God please say the child got into some chocolate, because I shutter to think of what could possibly be dried and crusted to my floor.
The house constantly stinks of a shoo-shoo diaper because the trash is constantly full of them. I have tried Bath & Body Works, Glade, Renuzit and Febreeze plug-ins, scented candles and room spray to no avail! I have boxes that have never been unpacked — we moved in July!
Meanwhile I feel those "pitiful shame" looks all day long from people who remember the skinnier, healthier, livelier, more self aware Carla. "Such a pitiful shame," they must think, "Carla has really let herself go!"
How do other moms do it? Especially any mom with more than one kid — Whose hair, make-up and nails are always done and who act like being a full time employee, mom, maid, personal shopper, chauffeur and chaperonage is like breathing. I mean HOW DO YOU DO IT!? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS?!
I need some rest, and I need some help. Someone please save me ... if only for a day out with the girls .. some window shopping, antique store hopping, a mani/pedi ... something!