Monday, April 25, 2011

Confessions of a Control Freak

Some would say that control freaks shouldn't marry — or have children for that matter. Believe me, I've heard it said and even had it said to me because I'm a control freak. There ... I said it. So what! I may be a control freak, but I've never had a problem admitting my faults. In fact, I've always willingly admitted that I'm fond of being the one who has the say-so. Though, for the record, I don't consider it a fault. Anywho ... this Easter Sunday was a real test for me.

I had been waiting for yesterday for weeks. I meant to do Ellie's Easter pictures myself before the holiday even got here, but for whatever reason, kept getting busy and kept putting it off. So I was very excited about yesterday. I couldn't wait to get pictures of her in her pretty little dress with her coordinating sandals, hair bow and Easter basket. I just couldn't wait to get pictures of her as she searched for colored eggs holding the Easter bunny's hand. In my mind, I imagined our Easter day perfect and pitcuresque, and I knew exactly how it should turn out.

Enter the will of my not yet 2-year-old ...

We arrived at my mother-in-law's Easter bash at about 1 p.m., and as soon as Ellie's feet hit the ground, the ideal photos in my mind were ruined! I lost the "Battle of the Hair Bow" before we even left Columbia. And somewhere around 2ish I gave up trying to keep her away from rain puddles, dirt, grass stains and the huge sand lots that surrounded the swing sets at Percy Warner park. (Only a man could've had this idea: to surround swings with sand. And this stupid man surely had no children and surely never callculated into his plans the weather or the fact that dogs like to pee on poles — especially ones surrounded by sand!)

On top of the magnetic pull of the giant litter box, the ground where the eggs were hidden was soft from recent rains and every other step I took sank at least 3-4 inches into the earth! I have cuts all over my feet from sticks and rocks because I was wearing flip-flops. And of course ... Ellie didn't grasp the concept of picking up the eggs and putting them in the basket. Every egg I finally decided to pick up for her she would take out of the basket and throw back on the ground. So, we collected a wopping total of 3 eggs! =)

Anyway ... What turned out is what you see. They are not typical Easter photos, but they are in fact perfect! Sure I fretted. I'm a mother and nothing will ever keep me from doing that. And since becoming a mother I have developed the distinct ability to fret and still have a good time.

And we had a very good time. It was not what I had imagined, but what you see is exactly how it went down, and this is exactly how I will always remember Ellie's first Easter egg hunt. (She was still crawling last year.)

I take satisfaction in the fact that Ellie's Easter pictures look like no others. She isn't staring blankly at a camera lens from underneath bright lights or perfectly placed backdrops. I captured candid moments that I never want to forget. I'd gladly scrap my plans and take these photos all over again! We can take "perfect" pictures any old time we take a notion.

Besides, I can now also relish in knowing that one day I'll be able to share these memories with the first boy Ellie brings home. And when she threatens to kill me I will just remind her that these pictures were her idea. =)

Thursday, April 14, 2011

At the risk of sounding like an advertisement ...

At the risk of sounding like an advertisement, I'm just gonna say it anyway ...I LOVE A.C.E.!!!
What's A.C.E. you ask?

A.C.E. is an answered prayer. A.C.E. is my miracle. It's more than appetite control, more than energy enhancement; it's my new reason for inspiration and motivation.

My Ellie will be 2 in June of this year. Since her birth I have struggled not only with my weight, but in my soul. I was diagnosed with post pardum depression when Ellie was only a week old. Since then I have been in and out of psychiatrists offices and tried on at least 5 anti-depressants and even anti-anxiety medications. In putting on the extra weight of pregnancy I have also been on hypertension (high BP) meds for 2 years -- something I suffered with pre-baby, but I have not been taken of these meds post-baby. On top of riding this emotional roller coaster, add to that the insecurities of my self image and I began showing symptoms of an emotional eater. I'd eat a piece of cake because I didn't like the way my body looked in the mirror. What kind of sense does that make?! Next thing I know I'm eating because my job is stressful, we don't have the money for our car note or a check bounced. Stuff that other people just worry about I would worry AND EAT about.

I weighed 200 lbs the day Ellie was born. From that day to this, for whatever excuse, my weight has climbed to 228.

As you can imagine, at 32 years old with no previous love of exercise or athleticism, working a FT job and chasing a 22-month-old, my energy is spent -- if I even make it that far! Most days I would leave work, pick up Ellie, come home to prepare a starchy, carby dinner and then nearly pass out on the couch. Forget cleaning house! I would go to bed dog tired and wake up dog tired. All the while that gloomy cloud was following me everywhere I went.

I am now glad to report that the madness has ended, because in mid-March I decided to try A.C.E.

WOW!!! After only 3 weeks of taking A.C.E. I have found my general sense of happiness. I mean I'm just in the best mood I've been in in a long time! And energy?! I got that back too -- more energy than I had even before my pregnancy. And it's continual. I keep waiting for this hard crash but there hasn't been one yet! Best of all, just tonight I weighed in at 218. Maybe it is only 10 pounds, but it's only 10 pounds NOW. Next month I know there will be even less of me! And weight loss aside, I was at a point in my life where if I didn't find something for energy and mood then I was going to snap. I know it; I could feel the tension building. I would ... no, no ... I will continue to take A.C.E. whether or not I lose 1 lb simply because of how good I feel.

I'm writing this note because I want anyone who is struggling like I was to consider trying it -- more than consider; please try this product! You will be astounded at just how good you feel. Follow the link and read about this product. Then when -- not if -- but when you're ready to give A.C.E. a chance, give me a call. All of my contact info is listed here on my FB page.

A.C.E. helped me any now I just want to help you.

(I bravely post this photo, taken tonight @ 218lbs, because I know in no time at all I will be posting skinny pix!)

1-13-12 updated photos: