Monday, April 25, 2011

Confessions of a Control Freak

Some would say that control freaks shouldn't marry — or have children for that matter. Believe me, I've heard it said and even had it said to me because I'm a control freak. There ... I said it. So what! I may be a control freak, but I've never had a problem admitting my faults. In fact, I've always willingly admitted that I'm fond of being the one who has the say-so. Though, for the record, I don't consider it a fault. Anywho ... this Easter Sunday was a real test for me.

I had been waiting for yesterday for weeks. I meant to do Ellie's Easter pictures myself before the holiday even got here, but for whatever reason, kept getting busy and kept putting it off. So I was very excited about yesterday. I couldn't wait to get pictures of her in her pretty little dress with her coordinating sandals, hair bow and Easter basket. I just couldn't wait to get pictures of her as she searched for colored eggs holding the Easter bunny's hand. In my mind, I imagined our Easter day perfect and pitcuresque, and I knew exactly how it should turn out.

Enter the will of my not yet 2-year-old ...

We arrived at my mother-in-law's Easter bash at about 1 p.m., and as soon as Ellie's feet hit the ground, the ideal photos in my mind were ruined! I lost the "Battle of the Hair Bow" before we even left Columbia. And somewhere around 2ish I gave up trying to keep her away from rain puddles, dirt, grass stains and the huge sand lots that surrounded the swing sets at Percy Warner park. (Only a man could've had this idea: to surround swings with sand. And this stupid man surely had no children and surely never callculated into his plans the weather or the fact that dogs like to pee on poles — especially ones surrounded by sand!)

On top of the magnetic pull of the giant litter box, the ground where the eggs were hidden was soft from recent rains and every other step I took sank at least 3-4 inches into the earth! I have cuts all over my feet from sticks and rocks because I was wearing flip-flops. And of course ... Ellie didn't grasp the concept of picking up the eggs and putting them in the basket. Every egg I finally decided to pick up for her she would take out of the basket and throw back on the ground. So, we collected a wopping total of 3 eggs! =)

Anyway ... What turned out is what you see. They are not typical Easter photos, but they are in fact perfect! Sure I fretted. I'm a mother and nothing will ever keep me from doing that. And since becoming a mother I have developed the distinct ability to fret and still have a good time.

And we had a very good time. It was not what I had imagined, but what you see is exactly how it went down, and this is exactly how I will always remember Ellie's first Easter egg hunt. (She was still crawling last year.)

I take satisfaction in the fact that Ellie's Easter pictures look like no others. She isn't staring blankly at a camera lens from underneath bright lights or perfectly placed backdrops. I captured candid moments that I never want to forget. I'd gladly scrap my plans and take these photos all over again! We can take "perfect" pictures any old time we take a notion.

Besides, I can now also relish in knowing that one day I'll be able to share these memories with the first boy Ellie brings home. And when she threatens to kill me I will just remind her that these pictures were her idea. =)