She came home that day with a smiley face and a note that read "We had a much better day today!" I let her pick where she wanted the reward chart hung and as long as she comes home with smiley faces, she gets to put them on the chart herself. So guess which toy she wanted back? Yep! And I guess Monk Monk could be the key, but I like to think that all the praying I did (and am still doing) is coming to fruition.Thursday and Friday of that week and Monday of this week she has come home with smiley faces. I'm thinking, "Finally! I've found what works!"Nope!Fast-forward to Tuesday of this week. Another note! This time it read, "Ellie had a hard day following directions." So I took Monk Monk again thinking that would nip this week's behavior in the bud. Did it? No!Yesterday's note read, "Ellie really had a hard time staying with the class and not hiding in the room." Apparently, Ellie will just spontaneously jump from her seat to go hide (usually in the book nook). Then on top of that, I'm told she behaved rather badly at church last night. (I was at church, but it was my first night in the youth room. She was left to "test" her daddy's limits. Not my intent, but she saw the opportunity.)So ... last night we took from her the toys that she had earned back Thursday and Friday of last week as well as her TV, and of course she still has not earned Monk Monk back. We explained to her that when (not if) she comes home with smiley faces she can have her toys back (one at a time still), and when (not if) she learns to behave in church she can have her TV back.Now I'm back to feeling rather discouraged. I just wished that along with that bad behavior note the teacher could tell me just one good thing my kid did. Ya know ... something like, "Ellie had a hard day today following directions, but helped a friend pick up toys." Otherwise I feel I am only reinforcing her bad behavior these days. It's like when she gets home we discuss her bad behavior, but never what she did good. I can't reinforce good behavior if I don't know about it. I wrote the teacher a letter to that affect. So I guess we'll see how today goes.
In the meantime, I am asking God to show me today how to be loving and nurturing toward her rather than harsh. This is a difficult adjustment for her - her more so than me. I'm asking him to allow me to see her need - to see her as he does - and to show me how to almost blindly praise good behavior while not giving much more attention to the bad. ###