Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Far From Home

Original post date: Monday, February 12, 2007

Current mood:Homesick
Category: Life

Ok so ... it's been way too long since I sat down to blog about anything. I figure some of you may want a detailed update on how things are going here in Columbia.

So far ... it sucks. I say that as optimistically as I can. I believe in my heart that for whatever reason I am meant to be here. I believe that it was in God's plan and that he was the luring force that brought me to this place. It's the "why" that has yet to make itself clear.

Columbia stinks - literally. This city is dirty. I mean trash and litter are everywhere. There is construction on the main square that takes away from Columbia's "Old South" charm. No one seems to have any pride about what this place looks like. All together (at least until this construction is finished) most of Columbia is a tacky eyesoar. Matter of fact, in ways, Columbia is worse than Nashville. The local people have no respect for the city/county government, and considering the decisions made by these certain officials, the citizens concerns are understandable. The local politcians remind me of John Grisham characters. In certain parts of the city there are drive-bys, questionable house fires and randon acts of violence. If any of you have watched the news, there have been crimes in this city that have made state and national headlines such as: the recent and senseless killing of a local state trooper (Calvin Jenks); a 35-year-old woman died of supposed "natural causes" and 3 fetus' were found her freezer; a 15-year-old boy stabbed his twin brother to death over a piece of chewing gum; in a heated family fued a man killed his son-in-law by hitting him in the head with an ax - and these are just the headliners. I can't even mention every little thing that happens daily.

It seems the sun never shines here. I thought before moving that since it was so far from Nashville, Maury County would be a "country county." Ya know: farms, horses, cows, old country roads; people waving whether they know ya or not; the smell of cow patties and skunk filling the air as you drive home. But no. There's hardly any of that. I moved here in the summer and don't recall hearing the first cricket, tree frog or whiperwheel. I can't see the stars from my back yard. There seems to be a constant cloud over this place. At night, all I hear are loud car stereos or sirenes. The neighbors house is so close I can hear them whisper in their backyard. I miss my little place in Ashland City. It was only 30 minutes from Nashville and it sat off the main road, but somehow it still seemed miles away from people or public places. I rarely heard or saw traffic. I could always see the stars, hear the stream running through my yard or cows in a far off pasture.

Yes, it would seem that I am far from home here in Columbia. I do not yet feel settled, nor do I know for certain that this city will be a permanent place for me. But it is, for now, where the Lord has me. Family and friends, please pray with me that the Lord will begin to show me why I am here.

After 6 months I finally found a new church and there are many people there that I know will become great friends. The church itself is in Lewisburg, which is actually about 20-30 minutes from Columbia. They have a congregation of about 300+ and many people my age. Only problem is, everyone in the young adult group is married. There is only one other girl who isn't, so we have each other for support. But, in a very small way, I still feel like the odd man out. I know this church is where God would have me, though. They are in need of a strong female vocal on their P&W team and I intend to allow the Lord to put me in that position. I feel that he is telling me that right now is not the time though, but that it will come soon. I don't feel it's proper or fair to others on the P&W team for me to jump on board after barely attending the church 6 weeks, so I intend to complete a discipleship coarse that the church offers first. Everyone else has had to pay their dues, so to speak, and so must I. I believe I am the voice they are looking for, but I know God wants me to wait for the right time. The people of the congregation are precious and welcoming. The pastor is warm, friendly and loving. I feel I have known him all my life. I find in him a kindred spirit. He has such passion for preaching the word of God. The church is growing rapidly and the alters are full every service. Matter of fact, I am at the alter myself every service and that is how I know beyond all doubt that this is the place that God has led me to. This is the only place so far that feels close to home, but it's not in Columbia. Again, it's in Lewisburg.

Work is good. I love my job! I know it is my destiny job. I doesn't pay crap, but it is a job that I feel will open many doors for me and I am finally happy and content in what I do for a living. This is my Ecclesiastes job. I know God has blessed me and given me favor. I am the editorial assistant/staff writer for the local daily newspaper, The Daily Herald (www.c-dh.net). I have always had a passion for writing. I have kept a journal for years and believe that this is a gift God gave me at birth. I am destined to be a writer of sorts. God has given me this job, I believe, to determine what kind of writer that is. My boss is cool and real laid back. Though I hope to never take advantage of that quality. My co-workers are nice and seem to really enjoy having me around. For the most part, I work with an office full of men and I love it! I've always been "just one of the guys." I don't work well with other females. It's like you make friends with them and then they stab you in the back. Women are talkative and gossipy. Men are just men and if that's all you expect from them then you're never disappointed (sorry guys - I actually mean this as a compliment). The only thing is, these men are not Christian. A few of the older guys go to church, but I can tell that working in an office full of unchurched men has influenced them. This is why I have my worries about how working here for very long will affect my spirit. I don't want to be changed or influenced by them, but rather them by me. Family and friends, please pray with me about this.

The job is good though. It is the vehicle for my personality that I have prayed for. It is suited just for me and I feel I do it well. My boss says "thank you" all the time and he and the reporters are always telling me what a good job I am doing. It does keep me busy, very busy, but I love that about it. Doors have already begun to open. My editor has asked me to consider writing a column and the company will pay for a certain percentage of school/college as long as I am taking coarses that pertain to media. I have also found media corporations that offer grants or scholarships in the field of religious media. I just have to get my writings published in order to qualify. Family and friends, please pray that God will continue to open these doors for me.

All in all, I miss life as it used to be before Columbia. I miss having my own place, I miss the country life, I miss my friends and (church) family that I left behind. I have my immediate family here. After all they are the reason I moved here to begin with. I am thankful that we are close together. I would miss out on watching my neice grow up if I were in any other place. But at times I am lonely even when I am with my family. Somedays the loneliness is unbearable and even depressing. Maybe that's because I still hope to find someone special to share my family with. I feel like until I do find him a certain part of my life will remain incomplete. Who knows, maybe he's here in Columbia (or Lewisburg). Only God knows. Family and friends, I ask that again you would pray for God to allow us to come together soon. No doubt whoever he is he feels the very same void in his heart when he wonders about me. So please pray for this man, whoever he is.

Well .. there ya go. I think I have covered most everything. If any of you wonder about anything else in particular just ask. You know I won't hesitate to share. Til my next blog, I love you, I miss you and God bless you.